Description: In writing I have been learning about sentences. I'm in Troys writing group. I'm trying to get better at using fanboys by not using as much talking. The motivation came from the picture we were writing about. I did a news report about the picture.
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Big Idea: After I finish my story I went back and added more detail and My goal is F,A,N,B,O,Y,S What means For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So. I decided to do FANBOYS as my goal because I am not using it much in my writing. Here is my story!!!
Feedback/Feedforward: Wow Sophie that is a good reason why you should not swim in the deep blue sea of fiji. I think you could improve on adding a bit more detail and fanboys but otherwise it is a really good story -Aria :)
Evaluation: I think I did a good job but I think I could improve on using a few more fanboys.
Sophie, it seems that you made a good start to your writing but then it sort of just ended. Next time think about how you could stretch out your ideas and make it more entertaining for your reader.
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