Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Writing Sample

WALT:  Entertain

Description: We read the poem “My Remarkable Journey” which inspired us to write our own remarkable journeys about why our homework wasn’t at school today.

Here is my story!!!

I was sitting on the mat and we had finished inquiry. Then my teacher told us that we were not doing 1 page not 2 pages not 3 pages but 10 pages of HOMEWORK. It’s the end of the day and I’m sitting at my desk.

We were meant  to be doing it on our device’s but pages stuffed out. So I email my teacher and he was so angry. The he put every letter in CAPITAL!!! My teacher said do it in book. I said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo! Now I’m ANGRY because of my stupid homework. 

I’m in the peace and quiet, but I’m freezing. 5 mins later. Dun dun dun!!!!!!!Now I am being attack by an Elephant. I bit the Elephants leg. The Elephant ate my homework and jumped out the window. I raced up to the Elephant and said wheres my homework!!! He didn’t say any thing.

We ran into the jungle and I fell over in a mud puddle. It was yuck. I keep sprinting to get my homework. Its so hard to get my stupid homework. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m in HOMEWORK land. OH NO homework land has got lots of quick sand. It pulls you in as fast as a cheetah. Now I’m getting pulled in. This all started because of my stupid HOMEWORK!!! 

A hawk came and saved me. Its a good thing that I’m not going to die but I will drop and It will hurt. That why I don’t have my homework here today. I’m sorry that you can’t hear the rest of my story!!!

We decided that a quality piece of writing has the following things. Reflect on whether these things are in your story:

Introduction: It hooks the reader in the first few lines making them want to read more?

Punctuation: Is your writing ready for a reader? Does your punctuation make it easy for them to read?

Short sentences: Do you create suspense by using these in your writing?

Onomatopoeia: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Alliteration: Are these in your writing to create impact?

Similes/Metaphors: Are these in your writing to create impact?

1. What do you think is the best part of your story? The best part in my story is When He put every letter in CAPITAL.

2. What was the hardest part about completing this portfolio sample? Writing my story because it took for a while to write.

3.  Next time, what is a goal you can work towards? Next time my goal is to add more alliteration.

Feedback/Feedforward: WOW Sophie I really like how you added alot of detail, I think you could improve on less elephant I got a little confused -Zara

1 comment:

  1. Sophie, I really like the visual imagery you have created in your writing as it hooks the reader in. Next time read through your story aloud to check that it makes sense as sometimes the words you have used aren't in the correct tense.